The goodness of people

This winter has been cold, with almost record breaking snow. It reminds me of how people come together in times of disaster. On September 11, 2001 people were somehow able to unite and work to the common good. To some extent in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina people were able to help each other. People are still in 2009 going to New Orleans to help rebuild the city. Sometimes it seems, that once the disaster passes everyone goes back to their self-centered, egotistical selves. Or maybe these are not the same people.

Many times in my career, I have worked with people dedicated to helping others. These include volunteer and professional firemen, Emergency Medical Service workers, ambulance attendants, policemen, nurses, counselors, and case managers. These clients come to counseling
because of the politics in these professions. They express a deep concern for their fellow man, but feel their hands are tied by the constraints of business and finance. We need to find ways to allow that goodness to surface.

Truth

What is the truth in today's world. We find information on the Internet and believe it without question. For some reason information found in print has some kind of credibility. I receive e-mail all the time that proves its credibility by saying go to another website or by reading another quote from someone else I have never heard of.

After the election for president in 2008 many questions concerning who said what, became a problem. Information given on Saturday Night Live, was attributed to one of the candidates. In Ohio people on the news programs reported rumor and gossip as fact. So much of the news today is so unbelievable it is hard to tell truth from fiction. Political "spin" is so institutionalized that we no longer can believe what we see for ourselves.

EMDR vs. traditional therapy

I have again encountered traditional therapy and how it clogs up the EMDR process. EMDR consent rates on one issue at a time. Once that issue is reprocessed and the corresponding self belief is installed we move on to the next issue. Many times in resolving one issue several other issues become insignificant (its the generalization effect). In traditional therapy there is more a tendency to allow the client to deal with what ever they want to deal with at the time. While EMDR is viewed as client centered, the focus is to deal with one issue at a time.

Sometimes it is hard to break the habits formed in traditional therapy. The client can never resolve an issue because they have been trained to allow their brain to spin out of control. Always worrying and never able to develop a sense of closure.

Hope

This is inauguration day and everyone on television sounds so hopeful. People saying they have been waiting for this day their whole life. It is almost like a rebirth of a nation. Well nothing has changed. We are still in two wars, the economy is still a disaster, people are losing their homes to foreclosure and unemployment is climbing everyday. Yet people are hopeful.

Hope is what counseling offers patients. So often when people come in for counseling they feel that all is lost. When a spouse asks for a divorce the person feels like a failure and that no one will ever love them again. Through counseling they realize that life goes on. Eventually, they meet someone and realize they have a chance at happiness. When hope is restored their feelings of depression lift.

Hope is important to everyone, so when everything looks glib look for something positive.

Spiritual

When I opened the paper this morning I found an article about a Clinical Psychologist that wrote his second book on spirituality in psychotherapy. In this time of so many people denyiung the existance of God, it was refreshing to find someone who recognizes he healing power of the spirit. He was Jewish. He pointed out that peple who atend church live, on average seven years longer than non believers.

Communication s one of the most identified problems in a relationship. I believe the real problem is listening or more importantly hearing what the other person said. In Anger Management it is suggested that a person waits five seconds after a person completes their statement before they respond. The reasoning is that you respond to the complete thought rather than the first part. Once you determine what you are going to say you stop hearing what is being said. For example if someone says, " I was very disappointed in your comment until I realized you were trying to help me." If a person became defensive about the disappointment they would miss the true meaning of the statement.

The idea of communication is to develop understanding which means hearing what is being said, not just listening to the words.

For many years counselors have been telling clients to forget the past because nothing can be done about it. While it is true that we can't change the past, it certainly tells us where behavior patterns started. What is more amazing is that behaviors that don't work are more comfortable than the risk of trying a new behavior. Maybe that is the reason people do the same things over and over, rather than the expectation of different results.

One of the biggest challenges in therapy is to get the client to try something new. The excuse we use for people not trying new activities is that is is incongruent with their personality. The objective of going to counseling is "change."

Recently I was questioned by a client about the scientific support for theories in psychology. This person happened to be a scientist and couldn't understand how conclusions could be drawn by such small samples of population. This issue is especially true when it comes to measuring the success of any therapeutic treatment approach. One of the bigger problems is the drop out rate for any given therapy. Once the client gets what they want out of therapy they stop.

The other day I saw a new client who had an obvious mental health issue. While she acknowledged the problem, that wasn't the reason for her visit. She wanted advice and counsel for a current situation that was causing her some anxiety. Once the session was over she left satisfied with the results of the session. As a therapist I would see her as a person who dropped out of therapy. On the other hand it is her life and her misery. Thank God for medication it sometimes makes life tolerable.

Well it has been a long day. I have spent much of my day working on my computer. My computer is a necessary evil. One of the latest concerns in the counseling profession is cyber-addictions. I once knew a lady who raced her husband home each night, because the first one home got the computer for the night.

The main concern is that people are not relating to others very well. Maybe I'm old fashion but given the choice between text messaging and talking on the phone, I'll take talking. Actually most of the adolescents that are hooked on video games, when given the opportunity, choose hanging out with their friends in person.

I finally had an EMDR session where the client just couldn't get into the process. Upon questioning it was discovered that the client couldn't use the free association of thoughts. As a remedy for avoiding the intense feelings he had created enough activities that he ended up blocking out his emotions by producing spinning thoughts.

I have seen this phenomena in the past where clients living in a threatening environment would develop coping strategies to avoid feelings. The results were quite disturbing. They would get violent with little remorse.