Who said?

This week I heard men on a radio talk show talking about punishing children. Their concern was that they couldn't "take the belt to them." Beyond the fact that people still believe that hitting a child with a belt is okay, I thought about all the people hearing this that would be influenced by the remark. Does it give people permission to use a belt?

The real question is, What did I know about the guy talking on the radio? Nothing! What did the child do to deserve such a punishment? Unknown!

Negative thinking

Negative remarks seem to be a a large part of depression. Sometimes the depressed person makes them and sometimes the people around the depressed person make the negative statements. The end result is defensiveness. Once defensiveness kicks in all communication stops and depression runs wild.

Strangers

For some reason it is easier to talk to a stranger than it is to talk to a spouse. I don't understand, that before people get married they can talk for ever. They will talk for two or three hours every night, on the phone, and never run out of things to talk about. But after they have been married for a while they stop talking.

Men and women who have affairs will eventually realize they find it easier to talk to the the third person than their spouse, even though they have no intention of getting a divorce.

I'm Amazed

Yesterday, when I decided to write in my blog, I chose to talk about "forgiveness" as the missing component in secular counseling. Well within a very few minutes I received an email that talked about Jesus' death on the cross and how it forgave all of us for all of our sins.

It is almost frightening the way God works in our life.

It's been a while

Lately, I have had a problem with time. It goes along with the statement, "The faster I go, The behinder I get." Imagine from March to August. That's five months. During that time I realized why I became a Christian Counselor. Its summed up in one word, "forgive." So often in working with a client it comes down to the fact that someone hurt them. No matter what they do it won't change that fact. The only action left is to forgive.

Being released from our past is the only solution to some of our old nightmares. While it is true that we can't change our past, forgiveness is one way that we can avoid reliving it.

Mental health

I never cease to be amazed by the people who are afraid to get well. In treatment I will ask what it would be kike if they no longer felt angry or if they were no longer depressed. There seems to be a lot of comfort in being miserable. Sometimes people even give positive meaning to negative behaviors, like saying to a child that I am spanking you because I love you. I'm not sure but there are probably better ways to express love. The fact is that we spank children because they broke a rule and we abuse people as a way to control them.

Maybe removing misery and pain is only good if we replace it with something more positive.

Obstacles

I don't mean to get Freudian on everyone, but last night I had a dream that made me feel extremely frustrated. Since I ask clients about any unusual dreams, I decided to see what my dream meant. The dream coincided with the early morning and my need to find a toilet. In the dream I was also in need of finding a toilet, but I was in a strange entertainment center. After waiting in a line forever, I got to the door. When I opened the door there were several people in a large room doing many different activities. The man I needed to pass was in an inner tube in a very small pool just a little larger than the inner tube. Some how I had to get past this man, who gave me an evil stare. Once I got past him I found another door. Upon opening the door I found another woman running to this unusual looking toilet. An argument ensued.

The message was loud and clear that life is full of obstacles. These obstacles are creating considerable frustration for me and everyone else. Most of the obstacles we are faced with make very little sense, much like in the dream.